Rogue Devil Page 12

  “Blaze.”

  I stiffen. I didn’t actually expect her to answer. “Ah, yes, good ol’ Blaze.” Who the hell is this Blaze guy? How come I’ve never seen him stop by? He’s probably a genius guy from the lab where she works. I hope he wears a pocket protector and has scrawny arms.

  I study her, waiting for more information. The woman is a vault, casually sipping iced water and watching the couples dancing.

  I speak through my teeth. “Does Blaze have a last name?”

  Her green eyes dance with amusement. “I never asked him.”

  “So it’s pretty casual.”

  She bites her lower lip, fighting a smile. “No strings.”

  She’s got to be messing with me. “You made him up.”

  “No, I didn’t. Blaze exists, and we meet up regularly.”

  A stab of pure jealousy has me sitting straighter. “How come I never heard about him before?”

  She lifts one shoulder in a careless shrug. “I didn’t think we shared stuff like that with each other.”

  “Well, we could.”

  She gets serious. “I don’t want to hear the nitty-gritty on your Friday night hookups, so let’s just leave it there, okay?”

  I work my jaw, trying to decide how to play this. I really need to know what’s up with this Blaze guy. On the other hand, I’ve been playing it like I meet a woman on Friday nights when I stay out all night. She’ll be mad that I lied, even though it’s for her own good. It’s so much easier not to cross the line when she keeps her distance.

  The DJ announces, “Would everyone please join the bridal party for this next slo-o-ow dance? Come on, now, don’t be shy.”

  One by one, my brothers get up from our table, bringing their dates with them. My parents were already near the dance floor, taking pictures, so they join in too. Even baby Olivia is up there, tucked in the crook of Dylan’s arm while he dances with his wife. Our table is now empty except for me and Chloe.

  Last man standing.

  I lean close to her ear and drop my voice to a husky tone. “Every one of my brothers is on the dance floor with their dates.”

  She turns, so close I feel her sharp intake of breath. “You said I didn’t have to dance.”

  I tilt my head. “Don’t make me look like a wiener.” It’s one of her favorite expressions. Wiener. She’s funny in her own weird way.

  She looks at me under her lashes. “I like wieners.”

  I laugh, take her hand, and draw her up. “Come on, you can handle one slow dance.”

  She follows me without a word, her hand tucked in mine.

  Once we’re on the dance floor, I rest my hands on her hips. I could do a waltz with some space between us, but that’s not what I want. Her arms go around my neck a moment later, and I almost sigh in relief. We sway in time to the music while I breathe in her sweet flowery scent. She’s quiet, looking at a point over my shoulder, and I’m not sure where her head’s at.

  “What do you like so much about babies?” I ask.

  She brightens, meeting my eyes. “They’re so sweet, and they smell so good. Fresh and new. Plus they need you so much. No one ever needed me for anything.”

  I consider that. She’s the younger sister, so Sara took care of her.

  “Didn’t you ever take care of a doll or a pet or something?”

  She rolls her eyes. “We couldn’t have pets at our apartment and a doll isn’t the same. I guess you could say I take care of myself, but that’s not nearly as fun as taking care of a little one.”

  “Well, you’ve done a fine job taking care of Kablooey.” That’s her good luck troll.

  She laughs. “I guess so.”

  I pull her closer, my hand resting on the small of her back. She doesn’t pull away. In fact, she seems to melt against me. I can’t hold back much longer. I feel too much, want too much. We don’t talk, yet somehow our bodies seem to be speaking their own language. Her soft curves press against me, and the heat builds between us.

  The song changes to a fast one, and Chloe pulls away.

  “Not my thing,” she says in a breathy voice, heading back to our table.

  I don’t push it. I give her space and join Jack with his friends at the center of the dance floor. He throws an arm over my shoulders and grins at me. I wish I could be as happy as he is. All these weddings, watching my older brothers get hitched, happier than they’ve ever been, it’s made an impression on me. Makes me think maybe there is something worthwhile in sticking around.

  I glance over at Chloe reading something on her phone. Probably the latest genetic research. She’s so different from me, but in a lot of ways we seem to fit. I don’t know how it would work out for us long term with her going off to med school and me being anchored here, but we have now. Isn’t it worth trying?

  Chloe

  Things got a little dicey on the dance floor with Bren. Being held in his arms, it felt like something real between us. Yet I can’t ignore the fact that he’s out with other women. I don’t believe he sees me as a conquest; we truly are friends. But there’s an undeniable chemistry that we’ve both tiptoed around. The whole thing just makes me sad and confused. I don’t have a lot of close friends like Bren in my life. It feels like we’re inching toward shaky ground, and I don’t want to lose him.

  The moment he returns to the table, flushed from his exertion on the dance floor, I say, “I don’t think we should slow dance again.”

  He taps the end of my nose and gets in my face. “I don’t remember asking.” He flops down in his seat and takes off his blazer, setting it on the back. Then he loosens his tie and undoes the top two buttons of his white dress shirt, revealing his sexy chest.

  I face front. Nice, Chloe, checking him out while you sit here worried about losing his friendship. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused where a guy’s concerned.

  Brendan leans back in his chair, spreading his knees and resting his arm across the back of my chair. Is he making a move on me, or is he man spreading? I guess you could say I don’t have a good handle on the male species. I should read up on their psyche, really figure this stuff out. If I turn it into a scientific exploration, maybe I’ll be less confused.

  The rest of the reception goes by relatively smoothly. Brendan and I talk a lot, and he takes me around, introducing me to people in his family. I do the requisite small talk, but all I can focus on is Bren’s palm at the small of my back or his smile or his hand holding mine. His touch is casual, reassuring, and I’m starting to crave it.

  We get back to Brooklyn late that night. I fell asleep in the car, so I’m groggy when we walk back to our building, but the moment we reach my door, I wake up. He’s quiet, but there’s a comfortable intimacy between us after spending hours together talking, touching, craving.

  He looks down at me, his blue eyes intent on mine, his expression serious. “Thanks for going with me.”

  “I had a good time.”

  He gazes into my eyes, and all I can think about is the classic end-of-date goodnight kiss. But this was a friends date, right? Right?

  I thrust my hand out to shake. He stares at it for a long moment, making no move to follow suit. I turn it into a little farewell wave, my cheeks hot.

  He takes my hand and brushes his lips across my knuckles, his eyes half hooded. A tingle runs up my arm, my stomach flip-flopping.

  “Bren,” I say on a shaky note. He’s still holding my hand.

  His voice is husky, his gaze hungry. “Yeah?”

  I need to stay strong, to hang on to what we have, especially knowing he hasn’t been longing for me the way I’ve been longing for him. He’s been with other women. “We have boundaries for a reason. I only have a month left on my internship before I leave for Villroy, and then I’m back to school.”

  He drops my hand. “You’re gonna see your guard in Villroy, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, we’re friends.”

  He scowls. “I know exactly what kind of friend arrangement you had with him.
”

  “It’s not like that anymore.”

  “He’s not over you, Chloe. If he felt strongly enough to propose, I can guarantee he’s gonna try to win you back.”

  “You don’t have to be jealous. I can have guy friends. Like you and me.”

  He clenches his jaw and bites out, “Not even close.”

  I swallow hard. Brendan is never mad at me. Things are about to go downhill between us despite my best efforts. The thought makes it hard to breathe, a panicky feeling making me desperate to fix it.

  He backs away, his voice harsh. “Goodnight, Chloe.” He turns and stalks to his apartment next door.

  “Wait, Bren!” I close the distance. “I have no plans to go back to friends with benefits with Michael. He might take it as encouragement that we have a future. We don’t. I’m staying in the US long term, and he’s staying in Villroy, okay?”

  He crosses his arms and studies me for a long moment. “Why’re you telling me this?”

  “I just don’t want you to be upset.” I wring my hands together. “It’s over between me and Michael. In fact, he mailed back the stuff I left at his place. But if I see him in Villroy, which I’m sure I will since he works at the palace, I’m not going to give him the cold shoulder. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

  He uncrosses his arms, relaxing a little, though he still seems mad at me. “And what about Blaze, huh?”

  My cheeks flush, and I go on the defensive. “What about the fact that you regularly stay out all night hooking up with random women?”

  We have a staredown. His hookups are much worse than me using Blaze. My outrage must shine through because I win.

  He throws his hands up. “I lied, okay? There. I said it.”

  I blink a few times, my mind rearranging what I thought was reality. “But—”

  He runs a hand through his hair, rumpling it. “I wish I could stop thinking about you long enough to even give someone else a second look!”

  I suck in air.

  He plants his hands on his hips. “I crash at a friend’s place in the city after a late night. That’s it.” He slices a hand through the air. “Me and Stewie. My hot date.”

  “Oh.” My heart’s in my throat, adrenaline racing through me. “Blaze isn’t a guy. It’s what I call my vibrator.”

  A smile tugs at his lips as he shakes his head. “You got me on that one.” He exhales sharply. “So where does that leave us?”

  I break into a cold sweat. “I don’t know.”

  He steps closer. “Chloe, tell me you feel something for me.”

  I bite my lower lip. This thing between us is deeper than anything I’ve ever felt before, and I’m unexpectedly terrified. Everyone close to me has been ripped away. First my parents, then my sister when she moved to Villroy to be with Adrian. I had to give Sara her freedom; she deserved it. Didn’t mean it hurt any less. I’m always the one left behind. I can’t risk it.

  My gut churns, sweat running down my spine. “Bren, you’re important to me. I want you to stay in my life, and—” I practically choke on the words, unable to make eye contact “—friends last longer than lovers.”

  He pinches my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “I’m talking about a relationship.”

  “I can’t,” I say softly.

  He drops his hold on me and goes into his apartment without another word.

  I stare at his closed door for a moment, my eyes hot before turning to my apartment. I let myself in, heading straight to the bedroom. I drop my purse on the nightstand and flop backward into bed, throwing an arm over my stinging eyes. Is our friendship over forever just because I don’t want what he wants? Doesn’t he understand how risky it is to let deep feelings in? It can destroy you. I never let anyone in that close.

  I sniffle and sit up, wanting to call Sara, but then I realize it’s the middle of the night in Villroy. I can’t wake her, especially when baby Henry is still getting up at night regularly. It’s even late in Texas, so I can’t call my friend Lindsey either. The only friend I know is awake is the one person who left me in this agitated state.

  I’ll let him cool off and try to talk to him tomorrow. I’m not letting our friendship go so easily. I can’t lose him.

  13

  Brendan

  The next morning I go for a run first thing. I pushed Chloe for more and her answer was clear—hell no. She’s not ready for a relationship, and I, of all people, being king of the casual hookup, really can’t take it personally. She’s just not in the same place in her life as I am. She’s young with lots of work ahead of her, a long arduous journey to becoming a medical researcher. You know, it snuck up on me, but I’m finally ready for a serious relationship. Would you look at that? I’m growing. I head for a nearby park, doing a mental roll call of the women I’ve met who might be worth a call. There could be some potential there I never took the time to explore.

  I start at a slow jog. There was that brunette with the piercings. What was her name? Or maybe that redhead—

  Chloe at the Christmas ball.

  No, don’t think of her.

  Soft blond hair, green eyes, smooth flawless skin, those lips with the bow in the top. Fuck. Get out of my head, Chloe.

  I run faster, but it’s no use. It’s Chloe my mind returns to again and again. What am I supposed to do about her? She’s here for another month, and then she’ll be heading to Villroy, where her ex will be waiting. She says she’s not getting back with Michael, but I’m sure he’s going to try to get with her. Who wouldn’t? She’s amazing, beautiful, brilliant, funny, sexy. Ugh. I’m never going to get her out of my head.

  I run faster and faster until I can’t think of a thing but my next step, my next breath. If only I could keep up the pace.

  I slow it down after a while, but then a surprising thing happens as I catch my breath, a peace comes over me. I’m not going to fight it anymore. I’m falling for her and that means I’m going to spend whatever time I can with her, whether or not we ever cross the line into the bedroom. I just want to be with her. Maybe it’ll happen for us down the line, when she’s ready. I shouldn’t push her so much.

  I walk toward home, drenched in sweat and fatigued. New plan—be chill. I’m not going to put a label on it, not going to insist we do anything more than what we’ve been doing. Jack’s wedding got me thinking of more, but it shouldn’t have. I’m not Jack, after all.

  All I know for sure is I’m not going to waste this last month with her. I’ll take her any way I can get her. That’s not as pathetic as it sounds, I reassure myself. It’s called opening my eyes to the amazing woman next door and appreciating her just as she is.

  Once I get back home, I take a shower and decide to clear the air with Chloe. I’ll see if she wants to do something neutral, like Frisbee in the park. No big if she says no. I know her work is important to her. I’m sure she’s home. She’s always home on Sunday mornings, though it’s creeping close to noon.

  After my shower, I head over to her apartment just as she’s coming out the door, holding a large plastic container. She freezes, standing in her doorway, staring up at me.

  “Hey, I was just going to see…” I trail off. “Where are you going?”

  She smiles uncertainly. “I, uh, made you sugar cookies.” She holds the container up.

  I stare at the cookies. “You did?” No woman has ever baked for me before. I know what this means to her. Sugar cookies are how she gives from the heart. She’s talked about making these with Sara, growing up, with warm nostalgia. She does have feelings for me. There’s hope. A surge of affection rushes through me, my limbs suddenly light.

  I lift my head and smile. “Thank you.”

  She lets out a breath, her eyes watering. “You’re welcome.” She backs up so I can come in.

  I take the container from her with one hand and give her a one-armed hug with the other. “You okay?”

  She nods, her lips pressed tightly together like she’s trying not to cry. “Yeah.”

&nb
sp; I lift the container. “Why?”

  She stares at my chest. “I felt like things got off track last night, and I was really hoping we could still be friends. I don’t want to lose you in my life.” Her voice chokes with emotion. I must mean a lot to her. That’s all I need to know. I don’t know how this is going to work, or if it will work, but what we have is real and that’s enough.

  She’s tense, worrying her lower lip. It occurs to me that she might just be scared because she’s new to the relationship thing. My protective instinct comes out, wanting to reassure her.

  I dip my head, meeting her eyes. “Hey, it’s fine. You didn’t have to do this.” I lift the clear container and peer inside. There’s layers and layers of tiny cookies. “What are they supposed to be?”

  “Oh.” She laughs and takes the lid off the container. “I couldn’t find any cookie cutters in the cabinet, but there were these little leaf pie cutters. You know, to decorate a pie with.” She takes out a tiny leaf cookie. “You use these on pie dough and decorate the top of it with them. It made so many.” That must’ve taken hours to cut and bake all those tiny cookies. All for me.

  I try one. “Very good.”

  She smiles. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Help yourself.”

  She takes one too, but she doesn’t eat it. “So can we hang out today?” She sounds hesitant, like I might turn her down. Was I that harsh last night, or is she just that worried about losing me?

  “Absolutely. It’s nice out. I was thinking Frisbee in the park. We could grab a bite to eat while we’re out. Unless you need to study.”

  She lifts her chin, her green eyes sparkling. “I’ve decided to take weekends off in the summer.” She pops the cookie in her mouth.

  “Really? The whole weekend? Are you sure the research articles won’t pile up unread, Dr. Travers?”

  She smiles, shaking her head. “A wise man once told me that scientists make the best discoveries when they take regular breaks.” That would be me. For completely selfish reasons.

  “What? He sounds like a guy who wastes his time.”